Part One
The Producer's Girlfriend
“Drake! Stop! I heard a noise.”
“Sorry, sweetie, but I always bark like a dog during intercourse. It’s the only way I can maintain my giant erection.”
“No, not that. I think I heard someone come inside.”
“I didn’t think you’d notice. I haven’t been producing semen like I used too.”
“It’s Eddie.”
“Don’t fret, sweetie. I’m sure—“
“—WHAT THE FUCK!”
“Hey there, Eddie. We were just talkin’ about you.”
“Drake! I told you I was going to propose to her. Tonight!”
“Why else do you think I hurried? Drake Wantsum would never fuck his best friend’s fiancé!”