50 Words or Less - Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

A demon imp unleashes terrible magic on some nerds and sorority girls. Definitely the best film made by DeCoteau during his early period, Sorority Babes isn't much more than an excuse to see some hot scream queens in various stages of undress, but is that really such a BAD thing?

50 Words or Less - The Dentist

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

Corbin Bernsen has a lot of fun as the titular tooth doctor, who descends into madness after learning of his wife's infidelity. Director Yuzna shows a knack for exploiting our worst fears about oral surgery, but errs slightly by making his final girl heroine too young for comfort.

50 Words or Less - Squirm

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

The best film to ever be mocked by MST3K (and, yes, that DOES count This Island Earth), Squirm transcends its goofy premise (worms become carnivorous thanks to typical eco-horror shenanigans) thanks to a script that treats its characters like real people. Not quite as classic as Lieberman's Just Before Dawn.

50 Words or Less - Saturn 3

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

My favourite novelist, Martin Amis, wrote the screenplay for this Stanley Donen film about a maniac who disturbs the peace of a couple living alone on a remote space station, but all I remembered after it was over was Kirk Douglas’ butt, Harvey Keitel’s dubbed voice, and the horny robot.

50 Words or Less - Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

Its plot perfectly summed up by the title, this second entry in the Ilsa canon is just as vile, sordid, and misogynistic as the first, adding racism into the mix. Kidnapped females are tortured in every conceivable fashion. Needless to say it’s a must watch for every serious B-Movie fan.

(Trailer DEFINITELY NSFW)

50 Words or Less - H.O.T.S.

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

Honey, O’Hara, Teri and Sam are the H.O.T.S., four girls with axes to grind against their college’s snootiest sorority. By recruiting other busty “rejects” they connive to get their revenge. This mostly unfunny comedy ends with a strip football game you will likely remember for the rest of your life.

50 Words or Less - The Sword and the Sorcerer

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

Pyun’s recent attempts to beat out Ed Wood and Al Adamson for the title of All-Time Worst Director make it a real shock to discover that his first film is actually pretty decent. Horsley plays Talon, a prince/merc who gets embroiled in a complicated plot to oust tyrant Lynch.

50 Words or Less - Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

After she inherits a creepy old house, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark becomes an unwanted neighbor in a conservative small town. Cassandra Peterson brings her iconic character to the big screen in a fun, cheesy comedy whose dependence on boob jokes is so blatant it would make Dolly Parton blush.

50 Words or Less - Monster Dog

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

The former Vince Furnier is Vince Raven, a rock star who visits his childhood home to shoot a music video. His trip coincides with the arrival of dangerous packs of dogs anticipating their lycanthropic master. Cooper’s voice is dubbed by another actor is this very accurately titled Spanish-Italian fiasco.

50 Words or Less - The Pit

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

The best Canadian horror film ever filmed in Wisconsin, The Pit pits adolescent Sammy Snyders against a world that (justifiably) considers him a perverted creep. He gets his revenge thanks to the titular location, which is filled with carnivorous beasts. Genuinely unsettling, the film also features a classic “twist” ending.